The VF story -- reworked

> I'm just gonna ignore that, that's so bloody stupid it's depressing.

and i'll be doing the same to your posts from now on, for the same reasons.

--
"What we got here is a failure to communicate..."

 

Good. Then I've made my point...

--

"I'm faster than lightning!"

 

Akira: beaten with a stick repeatedly as a child. Eventually, it stuck in him (in one of the only places a man can hide a stick on his body) and Akira has been obsessed with martial arts ever since. When he goes to the mall to have a Big Slice of Sbarro in the food court, he wears his gi. When he goes to the DMV to get his driver's license renewed, he wears his gi. His devotion to the manly arts has made him a great martial artist and poker player, but he never seems to find a girlfriend. If he ever does, guess what he wears when he goes to bed with her?

Kage: Tortured as a small child by J6, who were interested in determining the effects of the newly developed "bastard pill". The torture burned out most of Kage's vocabulary and fasion sense, and gave him very little in the way of a sense of humor. Hence, he developed the ten foot toss and obsessively good elbows and sidekicks and PKG's. Later in the storyline, Kage finally buys a hooker out of curiousity, and his elbow and TFT immediately go downhill.

Pai: beaten as a child by Lau, Pai is determined to piss him off by joining western culture and dressing like a whore. She watches old martial arts movies to pick up the latest fasions for the impecunious Chinese slut, and along the way can't help picking up advanced martial arts techniques like PPP PPP PPP. She's still not strong enough to defeat her father (or even Lion) but she keeps trying. Under the tutelage of Sarah she has developed more irritating attacks and tackier outfits.

Lau: The only VFer not beaten as a child, Lau spent most of his life administering beatings to his daughter, Pai. He is the originator of the "KenKenKen" or "fist fist fist" fighting style, the first to be based entirely on a no-kicks with the exception of American Boxing. Having met Jacky "Chan" Bryant shortly before VF1, Lau decided to incorporate kicks to be more like his American hero. Unfortunately, by VF4 his kick skills have put his punch skills in the back seat, and he is now considering becoming a Tekken character (what with the higher pay).

Wolf: Having first caught sight of Jeffry on TV, Wolf was immediately struck with the thought that "This is Mr. Right. I can't let his opportunity pass me by." ... Every tournament, Wolf enters and locks horns with Jeffry. Evey tournament, he feels crushing emotional rejection when Jeffry misinterprets his flirting as fighting technique.

Jeffry: Placed First in the ESPN X-TREME Summer games: Shark Stabbing and BMX Freestyle event. Used the prize money to buy a new rowboat and took the leftover cash to enter the VF tournament, in the hopes of promoting the one sporting event ESPN2 does not cover yet.

Jacky: Once just a scrub like you or I, Jacky took his fanboyism to new levels. He'd spend his days watching Bruce Lee flicks, playing Tekken at the mall, buying Tommy Hilfiger and J Crew outfits, watching WWF with his boyz, and renting Jacky Chan flicks at blockbuster. One day, something snapped and he decided to save his allowance and enter a tournament. Unfortunately, it was the VF tournament, and he had to save for ten years before he could afford to compete. During that time, he was grounded for attempting to molest his sister and he has had plenty of time to practice. His experience with Tekken has given him the lengthy canned combos he needs to crush VF characters, who more closely attempt to obey the laws of physics.

Sarah: Sparring partner during the long ten year grounding period. While she misses shopping at The Gap and The Icing (and trying to pick up CVS scrubs with slutty outfits and her impressive command of chain combos), she enjoys the opportunity to be her brother's cheerleader. Even though she routinely gets whupped, she usually can find a date at the end of the day.

Lion: Practiced in the depths of a French dungeon from the age of 7 to the age of 16. Unfortunately he had only one learning source, a grainy 2000 year old scroll outlining Southern WuTang Walleyed Mantis Technique. Because Lion has developed an art based strictly on diagrams, his schizo-palsied moves occasionally confuse the lower tier opponents like Pai, allowing the rare win. This fails to impress his father however, who routinely orders people to execute others with large buck kives.

Shun Di: At the age of 75, having amassed enormous wealth, Shun decides he's ready to retire. His only offspring, two american kids (currently 13 y.o.) who he fathered by Sarah, have convinced him that his drinking problem is only going to get worse without treatment. They have begged him to enter a 12 step AA/nursing home program. Unfortunately, they are conniving to get his fortune by telling him that all he needs to do in order to enlist in this program is sign on the dotted line. The dotted line is the one that follows every liability release on the tournament entry form.

Vanessa and Lei Fei? Who knows?



/versus/images/icons/mad.gif<font color=red>~~~ Don't make me rape you with a sharp stick ~~~/versus/images/icons/mad.gif<font color=red>

 

hah creed this is some funny shiy

'Hah whats next attack of the drunken cats' Wong Fei Hong from Drunken Master

 

Now that is hilarious stuff (^_^)

In my own opinion, fighting game stories are fun to have, but far from the most important part of the game. They CAN play a role in getting you "attached" to certain characters, which might have an effect on play in some individuals. I know I have sentimental attachments to a few charas in certain games. But a fighting game that's all story and no game is, well... crap.

I think Takuhi (aka Casey Loe) from Gamefan put it best in a FV preview he wrote: "If we played fighting games for their storylines, we'd be too busy analyzing the intricacies of Way of the Warrior to even worry about FV."

VF's story taken by itself is weak but it works perfectly for the game, and that's fine by me. ^_^

 

Bwaaahahahahaaaa!! this is intolerably hilarious. I like "Jacky played Tekken" gag. But I believe he had entered the first tournament before Tekken 1 came out..heh..heh.

/versus/images/icons/wink.gif

 

All tiger styles use the tiger hand as the base and the stance as the basics for its footwork. TIger is a southern style - the two main "schools" are black and white tiger. Black is more ripping and close to the ground, white uses higher stances and more long hand techniques.

"Victory can be anticipated, but not assured" Sun-Tzu

 

Hmm, I like mine better. The humor is more subtle.

 

who asked you?

Besides, I don't trust subtle humor to work on many of the regular readers of this board. It's like watching a four year old with cerebral palsy play Killer Instinct. They might give it a whirl for all of six seconds, then grunt and walk away.


/versus/images/icons/mad.gif<font color=red>~~~ Don't make me rape you with a sharp stick ~~~/versus/images/icons/mad.gif<font color=red>

 

I actually liked CreeD's version. My $0.02.

 

Down boys, down! Come on now, /versus/images/icons/smile.gifx10